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Dec 9 2021, 4:10 AM (23 w, 5 d)

I got my A because I finally broke the cycle of lashing out at people when they didn’t do exactly what I wanted them to do.I came to see that when I got angry with people or became sarcastic, it was like wiping them out, and our relationship never fully recovered.It was hard for me to get that what I wanted was not necessarily what they wanted.For example, if we were preparing an important and difficult concert and players didn’t come to a rehearsal or came late, I would be disappointed and angry because I thought that they should care as much about the project as I did and let nothing stand in the way of being there.Now I see that in a volunteer orchestra whose players have many other commitments, I cannot assume that everyone’s priorities are exactly the same as mine.I have come to realize that people will do what they want to do—which means that sometimes they will come to rehearsals and sometimes they won’t—and I must respect their decisions.I know now that while I will do what I can to see that every chair is filled, I will accept the fact that this will not always be the case.I have also realized that someone who stands up to [me]( [and]( is unwilling to accept abusive behavior is more of an ally than someone who goes along with it, either out of fear or resignation.As a result of this breakthrough, I have a happier life, and so do the people with whom I interact.Even the music sounds better.Thank you, Cora, for being brave enough to guide me to this realization.